Taking Notes: on following Jesus

There are sometimes a thought crosses your mind, someone appears in your dreams in a random way, you remember something maybe that just causes you to reach out to someone. I'm learning these prompting are God's instructions to me about how to do the things He wants me to do. It could be as simple as a text, a smile, a meal, or even just doing a simple favor for someone in need. Sometimes He will even prompt me to help someone with a need before they even realize they have a need. That's awesome to me and when a situation works out like that I know for sure that it was orchestrated by God. I know that serving others brings more joy than your own personal ambitions. I hope I'm modeling this well for my children and I pray I continue to be used in whatever way God has planned.

" all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be"
                                                      Psalms 139:16

~Tara

Taking Notes: on why I hope my kids won't miss me

Mother's Day... it can be a strange mixed up emotional day.
Last week I went to Maddie's class for Mother's Day Tea. The kids recited poetry for us and served us fruit and muffins. She gave me her handmade collection of her poetry. I sat in her desk and watched her do her thing with her friends and in the classroom. This is one of her last events in elementary school, which means it's one of mine too. No more class parties to go to or send snacks to, we're looking ahead to middle school and none of those things really go on there. That realization made me a little teary eyed.
And so yesterday, my getting-older children didn't make me homemade Mother's Day cards. They didn't make me breakfast in bed with their Dad's help, they did get up late for church and start bickering, like usual, to which I reminded them it was Mother's Day and I'd just like a happy day, and I might have added a whiny please. So that was that and we were on about our day.
I hoped to take the kids and Sadie to the river since that is one of my most favorite places to be. We packed up and made it there about 10 minutes before the big black storm clouds rumbled down the river. The thunder started and the kids voluntarily asked to head out before the storm caught us. So we did. I rode home with a smelly wet dog in my lap.
 We passed by the cemetery where Nana is buried, where Maddie and I planted petunias in her flower pot the day before. The missing her doesn't lessen as the time goes on, especially for her boys. I often think of something one of the kids did and think about telling her about it but she's not there to tell. But then I remember all the things I did tell her and all the time she spent with the kids and I smile.
I'm different than most I guess, remembering doesn't make me sad, it makes me grateful for what was.
That's when I realized... I don't want my kids to miss me when I'm gone, I'm going to heaven and I won't be looking back. I want them to think of me and remember every good and happy thing we ever experienced or shared together. I want them to remember how I showed them I loved them, even if it hurt or they didn't understand it. I want them to remember that I tried my best to be the mother they needed. I want them to tell my grandchildren stories about me, teach them how to cook all our favorite foods, take them to Edisto and to the river and tell them how much I loved taking them there. I want them to carry on our traditions. I want them to smile and not shed one sad tear over me. I want them to be happy for all the thousands of days I lived and not think another thought about the day I died.
So my note to myself is this: Make your life count for something, even if it's success is in the series of small moments when you just held on for dear life and in the end a beautiful family was your masterpiece. Leave a trail of happy memories for your kids to take walks up and down, over and over. Talk to your kids about the legacy you want them to see that you left behind. Prepare them for  when you won't be there any more, but remind them too that where you will be is in the happy memories. Live so they see you everywhere.

~Tara

Taking Notes: on Patience

I woke up early this morning and started to get ready for work when I saw a flash of bright light coming through the bathroom window. By the time I was dressed and ready to start my morning by taking Sadie out to potty, I realized that flash was lightening and it was pouring rain.... not really my favorite way to start a Monday morning. See, Sadie is a water loving fool, and she takes great pleasure in standing out in the pouring rain. I do not. I attempted to take her potty from the front porch so I could stay in the dry, but, no, she refused to go. So to the back we went where I huddled under the umbrella while she tried to keep her wits about her while the lightening popped around us, literally. She finally did her business and we hurried back inside, but not before she shook all over me and the dining room and wouldn't sit long enough for me to get her dried off good. Then I had to chase her to dry her, wipe up all the wet paw prints and clean up the puddle from the umbrella, and I hadn't even had my coffee yet. It was at that point that I realized she's been sent to me from God to continue my lessons in patience. You see, having two kids just wasn't enough to teach me adequately all I need to know on the topic of patience. So I'm pretty sure that's why we got her. I must be the most hard headed student ever, because my patience lessons are difficult, and it seems like I have to repeat them a lot. It wasn't too long before Sadie needed to go out again, she always pees first and poops second, never in the same trip... patience lesson #2 of the day...

~Tara

Taking Notes: Remember to Pray

Tuesday evening Sadie ate yet another sock. I was watching my niece and nephew for a bit and she was in her kennel. My niece took off her socks because she was sliding around on the hardwood floor and didn't want to fall. Long story short, the kids went in Maddie's room to play so I let Sadie out also. No sooner than I opened the kennel and walked away, she made a mad dash for the socks, that I had forgotten about obviously. So of course, down went the sock, like a vacuum. So that's when the wait and watch began. We thought she'd probably be able to pass this sock because it was so small. So we waited and waited and inspected poop and waited some more, for three days actually. Last night I suspected it was soon to be over because Sadie was not her usual energetic self. I heard her make a few suspicious noises in the night and became more worried about her so I prayed ... quite simply that she would pass the sock. This was the first time I prayed about the sock that went down, but I thought about it and worried about it, lots. I felt very silly praying about a sock in my dog's intestinal tract. I fell back to sleep quickly and slept till the alarm went off, jumped up and started to get ready for work. All the while Sadie is whining and I'm telling her to be patient and I'd let her out ASAP. That's when I finished up and went to her and found that she had puked the sock!! Thank goodness and praise the Lord!! In that moment I felt so grateful that the ordeal was over and God answered my prayer and so ashamed that I had not prayed sooner. Sometimes we feel that God's too busy, doesn't care about silly details, or that it's just ridiculous to pray for certain things. I was reminded this morning while cleaning puke that He does care and that while He does know the concerns of my heart... He's probably waiting for me to speak up and share them with Him. That's what relationship is all about. So for future reference... remember to pray right away about all things, anything, silly things, big deals... and about socks in stomachs.


~Tara

A Story about a Pot

Yesterday was just another average ordinary day for the Long family. There was school and work, after school pickup, a run to Walmart, and a stop for puppy food for our Sadie. I tried to hurry through these chores because for one, I hate going to Walmart, and I had planned to make soup for dinner and I knew I would need some time to prep it. So, we got home, unloaded, and I got right to chopping veggies for my soup. This is my favorite part actually. I love the rhythm of chopping and I love the sound the knife makes as it's doing it's thing. It is so relaxing to me to cook. Until... I reached for my very favorite cast iron dutch oven, pulled off the lid, and to my horror I discovered this.

The enamel on the inside is cracked and flaking off. Pain shot through my chest, literally, and I gasped in shock. I'm not sure what happened to my beloved pot, either I just cooked it to death or my accidentally leaving it in the oven while I was preheating just did it in. I immediately text Bryan to let him know how heartbroken I was over the death of my pot. He understood and tried to comfort me as best he could via text.  I fully realize that if you are not a foodie, as I am, you cannot possibly understand my feelings about this pot. I loved this thing... we cooked delicious meals together, like a friend in the kitchen, it was the best pot and the thought of doing without it was just too much to bear. I did tear up... but I collected myself and went on to cook my soup but it just wasn't the same.

 

one last pic for memory's sake

It was about time for Bryan to get home from work and my soup was done. I hear the front door open and turn around to see Bryan carrying in a box.... that held a brand new enameled cast iron pot!!! Yes, I did burst into tears and give him the biggest hug I could. Having him buy this pot for me was by far the most grand expression of love I have ever experienced. And before you write me off as a complete loon, let me explain. I never expected him to replace my pot. I only shared my sadness about my broken pot because that's what you do in marriage. Good and bad, happy and sad, whatever it may be, we share it with each other. But here's the good part, he knows me so well and he knew what to do to make me happy. He knows that cooking is a passion of mine and that to be without my pot would be a catastrophe. And later when we discussed how special him buying the new pot was to me, he told me he went to four stores looking for one and did it in less than one hour from the time I text him. This speaks volumes to me. You see, I didn't ask him to, he didn't need time to think about it, it was instinctual, second nature, to think of me and to strive to meet my needs. And because he knows me and loves me, he knew just how to do it. He was surprised when I told him how the pot made me feel. And he said he was just trying to make me not be sad. But what he did was so much more... and I hope that I recognize the opportunity to do the same thing for him when he needs it from me. Marriage is hard and it takes a lot of work to maintain a good healthy one... hat's off to you my dear, you knocked it out of the park today. I love you!!

my new pot (thanks baby)

~Tara

Restoring the Buffet

We recently were given an antique buffet that belonged to Bryan's mom. It came to us in pretty bad shape. It spent a while in our barn and also outside in a shed at someone else's home. It was pretty beat up and dirty. I researched restoring it and considered sanding and painting it but in the end decided to clean it up and go from there.

the buffet after being cleaned

badly damaged doors... we actually left these off the finished piece, they were just too bad off

gluing pieces back together

I started by cleaning it with Murphy's Oil Soap, at least 5 or 6 different times. It was so dirty that the water would turn black each time I scrubbed it. Once it was relatively clean and no longer smelly, we moved it into the house to finish it up and protect it from the weather and from being in the barn. I was still so scared to start the actual restoration process because this piece of furniture is one of the few things Bryan has that belonged to his mom. He was very hopeful that we could restore it to it's former glory and keep it as true to it's original state as possible, the way it was when his mom used it. Heirloom pieces carry such sentimental value that I wanted to do right by this old buffet and Bryan's request.

After doing my research, I decided to use a product called Restore-a-Finish. I found it at Home Depot. The buffet had some chipped up pieces that needed to be glued back down so that was step one. After the glue was dry, I started applying the Restore-a-Finish with a clean rag. Immediately I knew we had made the right choice. The old dried out faded looking wood came back to life beautifully. The next step was cleaning the hardware that was on the buffet. I just used some Brasso. After the Restore-a-Finish, a final step of applying a beeswax polish was done to seal the finish.

finally finished

some of my blue Mason jar collection and dried roses from Bryan's Mom's funeral in the clear jar

close up of the restored top

We are so happy with the results of this project. I am thrilled to have a meaningful piece of useful furniture in our home that was passed to us from my mother in law. I hope that we can look at the buffet and always remember the value all things have and the worth there is in taking the time to restore something. Whether that be a piece of furniture, an old truck (that's the next project), a relationship, anything, it's worth it.

~Tara

Making a Memory

We took a trip down the river this week. We had planned on doing it all summer and for one reason or another we hadn't been able to make it happen. Finally the weather and our schedules aligned and we decided it was the perfect time. We took a picnic and then set out floating. The water was quite cool and refreshing. It was slow going in few spots but we paddled and drifted and just relaxed. It was a nice day. There were a few good rapids that were fun. Some were more shallow and our tubes dragged across the rocks and pulled our plugs loose. At one point we were all standing in the middle of the river blowing our tubes back up. Thank goodness it was shallow. The trip took us 3 and a half hours and I got a bit too much sun. But overall it was a great time. We watched the birds, noticed flowers, and the beautiful blue sky. We stopped to swing off rope swings, jump in off rocks, and have fun. Once we were back home, Blake said we didn't even take any pictures of us tubing. Maddie answered back that not every single thing needs a picture taken of it. How true!! and how wise of her to recognize that and help me see it too. It was nice to be in the middle of a beautiful river with my family with nothing competing for any of our attention. Most any other time there are phones, ipods, TV, other people, jobs, chores, responsibilities, the next project, the next best thing. Usually I only feel a reprieve from these distractions when we are at the river or at the beach. I purposefully leave my phone (and everything else) at home to keep it from being lost or broken. I've been more aware lately of how important it is to spend time with my husband and my kids, giving them my undivided attention and making them feel just how important they truly are to me. I'm starting to think I have it backwards, maybe I should leave behind any distraction so that my family isn't lost or broken. Not everything that is a distraction is a bad thing, most are necessary to life really. The problem is when you don't balance it, the real life people fall by the wayside. I don't want that to be my husband or one of my kids, ever. Life is precious and short and I don't want to waste it on anything that takes away from my family. I want to have more memories that we have made simply because I took the time and cared enough to just experience that moment, not because I took the picture to document it. All the sweetest memories actually are kept in my heart anyway, and I don't need a picture to remember it. They are the feelings of being known, loved, accepted, important, and happy. No other thing, screen, photo, material object, possession, duty, or obligation means more than how you make someone feel.
So dump the distractions and get back to your life....it's waiting....

~Tara

What I Learned from a Spray Tan

Earlier in the spring, I decided to work on becoming healthier. I am walking daily or doing some other online exercise video and I am keeping track of what I eat with the MyFitnessPal app on my phone. These things have helped me lose about 13 pounds so far. It's been slow and steady weight loss and I know from experience that's the best way to lose. I have eliminated almost all dairy and gluten in this process. I feel a lot better and I have not been hungry which leads to crazy cravings and the like. Anyway, my goal was to wear a bikini on the beach during our vacation. I can't recall that I have ever worn a bikini aside from when I was a child maybe, so there are parts of me that have never seen the sunshine. I wanted to look my best for my beach debut so I got the bright idea to get a spray tan. Note to all you wise women out there.... NEVER get a spray tan. I had hoped I would have a natural looking tan but, on my skin, it turned a freakish orange color and made my family members stare with the most concerned look I've ever seen. My brother who is 7 was rendered speechless!! That's when the panic set in. I tried not to look at myself and hoped the beach sun would improve my orange hue. However it went down hill from there. The sand scrubbed off most of my feet tan and my knees were soon scrubbed off too after a couple rough waves sent me skidding across the ocean floor. By day 2 of my vacation, I was frantically googling how to remove a spray tan. The suggestions ranged from bathing in lemon juice to peroxide (no thank you) to using a soapy rag and sugar scrub in a hot bath. This option seemed most reasonable and least painful, so I ran with it. With a quick prayer and the hottest water I could stand, I began my quest to remove the spray tan. It looked much like I was rusting in the shower, but, thankfully by the end of my sugar scrub most of my tan was gone.
Here's the lesson I learned.... I am much happier just being myself, white belly and all. When you attempt to be someone or look like someone you are not, it's weird...kinda like that look my brother gave me. I'm not going to be the most tan person around because I am not going to lay in the tanning bed or ever get a spray tan again. I want to be healthy and have my body serve me well, even if my skin is very light. I am very aware of what kind of body issues I want my daughter to learn from me. Both my kids will ask me about what they call my weird diet that makes me eat salads and lettuce sandwiches, which happen to be my own creative recipe. We discuss the fact that I am trying to improve my health by making better choices about what I eat. I also prepare them healthy meals and allow them to have treats from time to time, like most moms do. I, however, am older and you gotta work with the body you have to take care of it and keep it healthy. So, what I learned from the spray tan is be yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself... and it's better to be white on the beach than it is to be orange....

    

And just in case my memory starts to fade, here a shot of my two toned leg.

~Tara

Taking Notes...

I met with my Wives on Duty group this week. It's a group for LEO wives where we support each other and talk... with others who know what LEO life is like. No other group of women have been more like me and I really enjoy going. This week I shared a story about my son being gone on a field trip. They all listened and said they would pray for me, (I get that a lot). If you are a mother of a boy, you understand. Anyway, all of the others are Mom to young kids, I am the only Mom of teens/tweens. Therefore, I always get the comment, "You should take notes, you should write a book, I'm going to be there in a few years and I could use it.." so here we go. I will title these posts either Taking Notes on Boys or Taking Notes on Girls, depending on who I'm taking notes on. I hope it will be a collection of helpful advice for others and a chance for me to read these notes and gain perspective later on. Usually, situations are not as bad as they seem in the moment.

So for my first note... Go with your gut. This week my son went on a field trip with his 8th grade class. It was a 3 day, 2 night field trip. I hesitated briefly when deciding whether he could go. One, the trip was $340. Two, he was going to be gone 3 days. Three, I could not go along because I didn't want to!!! So, I reasoned with myself that it would be ok for him to go and it was a "reward" for successful completion of middle school, an accomplishment we often times wondered about happening. School is a struggle for some kids,  you know. I originally thought I would not allow him to take his phone because I didn't want him to get homesick and try to call me to come pick him up, 5 hours away. That wasn't happening. He said he wanted to take his phone so he could call me at night and we could talk. Now, what Mama doesn't melt at the thought that her "little" boy wants to hear her voice at night before he goes to bed. So, off he went even though I had my doubts.

Three hours into the field trip, I got a call from the principal at the school that my son was making prank calls. And that if he didn't stop he would be disciplined upon return to the school . Talk about panic!!!! I did and proceeded to call my son to get to the bottom of the situation.... and he didn't answer his phone. So much for needing to hear his mom's sweet voice. I finally did get him and he had actually called the wrong number by accident, four times,  and didn't intentionally prank anyone. He was trying to call a friend and misdialed one number. Either way, I was a nervous wreck that somehow he would find himself in more trouble while on the trip, intentional or not.

There lies the hardest part of parenting a teen, or any child for that matter. It's a mother's natural instinct to protect her baby at all costs. No matter their age, you want to protect them from harm and often that means you are inclined to protect them from consequences also. That doesn't work. I am slowly learning this. Even if he had been prank calling, that was his choice, and he deserved to bear the consequence of that. I am realizing that I have a little over 4 years to train my son to think like, act like, and be an adult. I really do not want him to act like a 14 year old forever, so if that means he has to feel some pain from a consequence, so be it. I am holding him back from growing into who he needs to be by trying to protect him. It's a huge shift in parenting and it comes so fast that Mom's often aren't prepared for it and they resist it. Sometimes I think we are so pressured into being "in the moment" with our families that we don't think ahead to what's coming. It's wonderful to enjoy the stage you are in with parenting your kids, however, a smart Mom can do that while planning for the future at the same time. Again, I'm learning here. Reactive parenting is no good, it doesn't allow you to think about the best response. It means you have to make a snap decision and usually it's not the right one.

Learn this lesson: If it's your gut feeling to not allow your son to take his phone on a field trip, don't let him take it. If he needs you, there are teachers and other adults on the trip who will have a phone he can use. If he takes his phone, then he accepts the responsibility of having it and will bear the consequence if he chooses to misuse it. And that's ok... that's how the real world works.

I'm preaching to myself here, thanks for listening......