Tough Questions

There are tough questions in life. One of these is Why? You can ask Why? in a lot of situations and never really be able to find an answer. This is so true when you see the world through the lens of law enforcement. Officers see the very worst in people a lot of the time. It becomes draining to wonder why the world is the way it is, why people do the things they do, why am I in this profession anyway? As the wife of an officer, my heart aches for my husband who experiences horrible things that shake him to his core. When he responds to home where a young girl has taken her own life, when he kneels with an accident victim as she breathes her last breath, when he recovers a young drowning victim, or simply enters a home where children are neglected and unloved, my heart hurts because his does. He doesn't tell me all his stories and I understand why. I couldn't understand. But I am certain God created some special people with the capacity to bear the burdens of others, no matter how crushing that burden may feel.  He gave them extreme amounts of compassion, even if it feels like they have no compassion left. He gave them strength, kindness, determination, and the ability to remain calm in an emergency. He gave them brothers and sisters made from the same mold and he gave them a badge to wear. I am also certain he collects all the tears they shed and all the worries on their minds. He takes all the wounded and bleeding pieces of their hearts when they bring them to Him and He mends them. He refines the officer daily, and often the fire is very hot. My husband says at the end of his career he will no longer be the same person he was when he started. I think he feels that his career is taking parts of him and hardening them and that it's a bad thing. I think that God is using him exactly the way He wants to bring glory to Himself. When we realize our brokenness and take it to God, we see that we must rely on Him fully to endure this world. It's when we don't take it to Him that we risk remaining hard and broken. God can display his power in a life that remains devoted to Him and His purposes. I am proud to be a law enforcement family and I am thankful that God doesn't leave us alone in it. He's making us better daily and at the end of this career I am sure we will see a better version of ourselves.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God." Matthew 5:9